Every grown-up has a standard question for young people: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Kindergartners want to be firefighters and doctors, nurses and gamers. Even football players and musicians make the list. Every answer points to a title, a role, an achievement.
But there’s a problem with this question. It’s entirely focused on doing, and it leaves out the most important part of the equation.
The Better Question
What if we added just one word?
Instead of “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, ask: “What do you want to be like when you grow up?”
That single word shifts everything.
“I want to be successful” doesn’t work when you convert it to “I want to be like successful.”
“I want to be a CEO” falls short as “I want to be like a CEO.”
But you could very well say, “I want to be like my grandfather.” And then the real question emerges: What qualities did he have that you want to emulate?
Maybe he was kind and tough. Full of joy. Firm. Honest. Hard-working.
Character Over Title
Many of us can articulate our outward journey: where we want to end up in our career, what we want to achieve, what’s on our bucket list.
But how do you tell people who you want to become to reach your goals?
Inside-out leadership starts here. It’s not about the role you hold — it’s about the person you’re becoming in the process.
Before you chase the next title, take a moment: What do you want to be like when you get there?
That answer will shape everything else. Goodness over Greatness explores this question in depth, and gives you a framework for answering it.
