What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Grown-ups have a standard question for young people. We reword it depending on the age, but the intent remains the same. When we talk to high school students, we say something like, "What are your plans after college?" You might ask middle schoolers, "Have you started thinking about what job you want to do when you get older?" But elementary children hear the root question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Every answer will be different, but all include achievement and aspirations. Kindergartners want to be firemen and doctors, nurses and gamers. Even football players and musicians make the list. Sadly, this achievement-based question leaves out an important part of the goodness equation.

What Shapes Your Picture of Greatness

Humans seem to have this need to be better than everyone else. Early civilizations went to war over who would be king and which country owned the most land. Power and authority have been sought after for millennia. These days, we have daily debates to pinpoint the GOAT — the Greatest of All Time — in various areas of culture. The quest for greatness isn't new.

After all, success, wealth, and power seem to have walked hand-in-hand for centuries. Nearly two hundred years ago, Alexander Hamilton said, "A fondness for power is implanted in most men, and it is natural to abuse it when acquired."

Before we can take the first step in this journey of Goodness over Greatness, we need to consider what shapes our particular view of greatness. Some look to their parents or educators for the definition. These important people in our lives just want us to be the best we can be. They push us to make ourselves "a little bit better."

Others base their idea of success on what they see on television or social media. How many followers does a person have? Are they considered an influencer? Watch the way children change their clothing styles or music preferences. These small, seemingly inconsequential things speak volumes about their idea of success.

Sadly, many people have themselves boxed into a particular path to greatness. Some have allowed others to do it for them. They believe the hype and don't see any other way to "the top." Others feel trapped in mediocrity because they have been convinced success is limited to unethical, high-net-worth crooks, and they can't live that way.

The problem we face in defining success lies in a lesson we can learn from the movie Captain America: The First Avenger. I recently enjoyed watching the Marvel movie with my teen and pre-teen. When the scrawny Steve Rogers walked into the experimental government lab, I started to see the parallel to Goodness over Greatness. Steve Rogers desperately wanted to serve his country, but he wasn't a prime candidate for combat because of his size, poor health, and demeanor.

Scientist Abraham Erskine had discovered a secret serum with the potential to transform even the weakest individual into a person with superhuman strength. Erskine had seen its power when a Nazi scientist, Johann Schmidt, took the first injection. Schmidt believed he had risen to supreme greatness, but Erskine knew the experiment needed someone of the highest moral character.

When Rogers asked him, "Why me?" Abraham Erskine explained the project to the Captain:

"The serum amplifies everything that is inside, so good becomes great; bad becomes worse. This is why you were chosen. Because the strong man who has known power all his life may lose respect for that power, but a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows... compassion."

He goes on to say, "Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are, not a perfect soldier, but a good man."

Redefining Success

Success, wealth, and power are the serum that reveals what is truly inside a person. They amplify the good or bad — the constructive or destructive nature within. Unfortunately, the world tends to focus on what I call Destructive Success. This kind of victory often makes the headlines in a not-so-positive way.

Enron cornered the market on natural gas contracts in the 1980s. Their staff, a bunch of innovative, creative decision makers, were sometimes called the smartest guys in the room. But when things started going downhill, they employed sketchy tactics to hide their failing profit margin. When documents began to be shredded after reports of a decrease in shareholder equity of $1.2 billion, the SEC stepped in. Within a few years of their bankruptcy, many of Enron's most successful executives found themselves in prison.

General Electric was once the premier business name in America. Everyone had some sort of GE appliance. They made light bulbs, x-ray machines, toaster ovens, and more available to the public. They actually boasted about their significant salaries. In fact, they told the world how much they paid in taxes because they wanted to contribute to the growth of the United States. Then, in 1981, they hired Jack Welch to lead the company.

For the next twenty years, GE became known for cost-cutting and quarterly earnings at the hands of a ruthless executive. In his first few years at the helm, Welch got rid of about 100,000 employees and closed many factories. He paved the way for outsourcing to other countries, and mid-way through his tenure, the company hit the number one spot on the stock exchange.

Welch's successor picked up where he left off, and within twenty years, GE was sold off to several other companies. The most successful company in America fell to legal but savage business strategies — tactics that many other companies picked up on because they saw the short-term gains they created. Companies profit by cutting ten percent of their staff every year and being cutthroat in their dealings, but they end up self-destructing.

That is Destructive Success. But on the opposite side of the spectrum, we have Constructive Success.

One of the most positive things to come from Jack Welch's questionable business deals was the introduction of Conscious Capitalism. John Mackey and Raj Sisodia coined the term in their book Conscious Capitalism: Liberating the Heroic Spirit of Business. This former CEO of Whole Foods, along with his marketing professor friend, suggested that businesses should look for more ethical and equitable ways to get things done. They forged the phrase from a quote by Nobel Prize Winner Muhammad Yunus. Yunus wanted to build a bank in Bangladesh that was a "socially conscious capitalist enterprise." Mackey and Sisodia call Conscious Capitalism "human, vibrant, and one of the most powerful tools for creating a better society."

As I mentioned before, I don't believe there's anything wrong with success. In fact, greatness and success give us a host of opportunities to make this world a better place. The key is choosing which kind of success you want, then doing something to achieve it.

Building a Strong Foundation

Steve Rogers had more success than Johann Schmidt when he took the serum injection because deep within, he had the characteristics that make for a strong foundation. One of the reasons we love a good movie is the fact that we enjoy seeing the good guy win. When we root for the underdog, it's not because he needs a cheering section. We want him to win because we can see his character strengths. We resonate with his honesty and integrity. Even if the guy was a scoundrel for a time, we love seeing him turn over a new leaf.

In the late 1700s, Edmund Burke said, "The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse." And we've all seen this play out at our workplace and in politics. Like Captain America's serum, power, wealth, and influence won't make you better or worse; they will simply reveal the true character within.

What Do You Want to Be Like When You Grow Up?

We all have traits we're born with; however, character doesn't fall in that category. We each get to choose what kind of person we want to be. To build character, we need to add just one simple word to our original question. Instead of asking, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" we should ask, "What do you want to be LIKE when you grow up?"

When you begin to answer this second question, you find that many of the things you would have used as answers to the root question don't fit.

"I want to be successful" doesn't work when you convert it to "I want to be like successful."

"I want to be a football player" falls short as "I want to be like a football player."

However, you could very well say, "I want to be like my grandfather." This allows you to dig even deeper. The question then becomes, "What qualities did he have that you want to emulate?" Perhaps Grandpa was kind and tough, full of joy, firm, honest, or hard-working. With a bit of intentionality, you can build a character just like grandpa, grandma, your favorite teacher, or a mixture of all the people you admire.

Many of us can articulate our outward journey. We know where we want to end up in our career or skill set. We have travel plans and bucket lists. It's easy to define what we want to achieve, but how do you tell people who you want to become to reach your goals?

In all our favorite superhero movies, we see a guide or sensei leading the pupil. Our hero has lessons to learn, and we see the growth as they put the lessons to work in their lives. Every level of change requires choices; these men and women display intentionality as they implement the teaching of their elders.

Inside-out growth demands this same kind of intentionality. We can't simply want to be better, more courageous, or more vocal. We have to choose to make the moves that will catapult our growth.

As we delve into this five-step process, focus on defining what you want to be like at the end of the journey. The more clarity you have, the greater likelihood you have of reaching your destination. We may make a few unexpected turns along the way as we refine our goals and put our character into specific situations. I think one of the most exciting things about this adventure is that we never really arrive. We just keep growing, rising, and expanding. Just like the serum enhanced the strongest qualities in Johann Schmidt and Steve Rogers, these five steps have the power to strengthen and deepen your most prominent characteristics.

Constructive Success begins with character. It occurs when we focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and praiseworthy. But before we move on, take a few moments and answer this tough question: What do you want to be LIKE when you grow up?